Last week I shot a scene for Kink.com's "Men In Pain". I've shot for them many times and there is nothing out of the usual in their shoots. But this shoot was different.
My scene partner was Maitresse Madeline, a beautiful tall and lean woman. She was so sweet and really funny. I was directed my BDSM model Claire Adams for the first time. I did not know what to expect from Claire. I've heard she is pretty hardcore and is totally into mind fucking. She is very much involved into the whole BDSM lifestyle in her personal life. But I went in there like a pro and did what I had to do... perform.
Claire demonstrated some techniques to have her try on me and described how she wanted to start the scene. Both my arms and legs were tied at each end. I looked like a bug trapped in a spider web, totally bound beyond belief. Maitresse started choking me, slapping, flogging and verbally abusing me. I pride myself in being a "painslut" because I like pain and I can take A LOT! But this girl was pretty tough. By the time she started slapping my face, she went into this back and forth rhythm, my eyes got a little teary eyed. Claire noticed this and yelled "Cut!".
She comes up to me and says "Wolf, I saw your eyes getting watery, are you okay?" and right there I started balling like no tomorrow. I couldn't understand it. I kept crying and crying, but it wasn't tears of pain, but tears of joy. I wanted to be challenged physically and mentally so this was more than I expected. Claire stayed with me and talked to me, hugged me the whole time. She would say this is a good thing and that I was able to let go of something that was very real and personal and that I should not be ashamed, which I wasn't.
I felt so safe with her and Maitresse was so grateful that I let go with her and hugged me as well. I was balling for at least 20 minutes, drinking some water and breathing very slowing until I finally got it together. Claire asked me if I wanted to continue, that we could stop if I wasn't up for it. I was like "HELL NO!!!" LOL But we could not continue that specific scene. For legal purposes, Claire went on camera with me and spoke about what happened and I had to consent that I was okay and that I wanted to continue.
Afterwards, the scene actually became easier and Maitresse and I connected even more. We had chemistry from the very beginning, but after sharing that experience, we felt a lot more comfortable with each other and I think our scene became a lot hotter because of it. I was very happy to work with Claire and I have much more respect for her. The way she treated me was more than a model could ask for and I was glad it was with her. I can't wait for the scene to go up. :)
Wolf Hudson XXX